Very Pretty
by demonicange1
Summary: ED? CROSSDRESSING? NO! but yes! who knew investigation could be so odd? Royed. Warning: contains excessive fluff. :
1. Ilness

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST**

**Illness**

Fullmetal Alchemist, Edward Elric, sat on the front steps of East City headquarters. He took absolutely not notice of the people fearfully edging their way around him. His face told them to stay away. A muscle twitched above his already glaring eyes.

His expression grew even more sullen and angry as he replayed the scene in his head.

-Flashback-

_"So, Fullmetal, you successfully only destroyed one building on this mission." The colonel glanced up at the already red-faced alchemist, his signature smirk stuck on his face._

_"Shut up, at least I didn't level the whole damn city chasing that bastard," muttered Edward, stuffing his hands even deeper into his pockets._

_"Fullmetal, when will you learn just to catch the perp and not destroy half the city?"_

_"At least I caught the guy." Ed muttered._

_"Fine. Dismissed…for now." Ed turned on heel to rush out of the room, but the colonel's voice stopped him, "Oh and Edward, you only look shorter when you stuff your hands in your pockets like that."_

_"**WHO'RE YOU CALLING SO SHORT HE COULD DROWN IN A RAIN DROP!?!?!?**" _

_The colonel had just chuckled that smug (bastard) chuckle. Ed had just been about to transmute a hole under Roy's chair, when Hawkeye walked in to diffuse the situation (the "diffusing" involved many a gunshot)._

-End Flashback-

Edward clenched and unclenched his hands slowly. That bastard Mustang. Why did he always smirk like that? Like he knew everyone of Fullmetal's thoughts (which mostly consisted of murderous intent).

Ed suddenly rose to his feet, causing his coat to swirl around him and the nearest passerby to jump about a foot into the air. He dashed down the steps and in the general direction of the military dorm he shared with his brother, Al

Ed burst through the door and sprawled on his bed without a word.

"Ed?"

Ed just grunted unhappily.

"The colonel again?"

Ed nodded against his pillow.

"Why do you let him get to you so much, nee-san?"

"Have you seen that smug bastard's face lately?" Ed growled, not looking up.

"No, I haven't seen him in weeks," Al replied.

"I don't know why, but lately whenever I see that smug bastard's face, I want to hurt or kill something!" Ed yelled, sitting up at last.

"You shouldn't worry about him Ed; just do what you always do. Ignore it, Ed. Let's just worry about finding the Philosopher's Stone."

Suddenly, Ed's face stilled and grew serious. He nodded swiftly and got up. "Well, I'm off to the library." Ed raced off with almost as much speed as he raced in. Al shook his head. He had been trying to distract his brother from the colonel, not make him rush off to study.

Ah, well.

The faster he got out the armor, the better.

(THIS-DAMN-BAR-THINGY-WONT-WORK!!!!!)

You love to tease him, don't you, sir." Riza Hawkeye said. It wasn't a question in the slightest, just a simple statement, but the colonel gave an answer anyway.

"It is so amusing to see him get redder and redder." Roy Mustang grinned into his interlaced fingers as he pictured the look on Ed's face.

"Sir, don't you derive just a little too much enjoyment from tormenting Edward?" Riza asked innocently, her face an emotionless mask.

"Hmm?"

"Nothing, sir."

Riza Hawkeye was the most observant person working in Roy's department. She noticed the glint in his eyes whenever he spoke of the diminutive alchemist. The glint came along with a sort of softness. It was well hidden, but Roy couldn't hide much from Riza.

She allowed herself a small, mischievous smile before drawing upon her "mask" and dropping a stack of paperwork onto the colonel's desk. Mustang suddenly remembered an urgent errand he had to run and quickly fled the room.

(THIS-DAMN-BAR-THINGY-WONT-WORK!!!!!)

Ed sat in a huge chair with his feet tucked underneath him. He had his newest alchemy book in his lap, but his eyes weren't moving.

His mind was on the colonel. He didn't know way that smug face kept popping up in his head. It was _very _distracting. His face started reddening and his heart pounding.

'Maybe I'm starting to get ill.' he mused. 'That could be the only reason for his heart jumping so quickly. Well, he was exhausted from his last mission. Ed put down his book and stretched in the big chair, and then snuggled into it comfortably. He would feel better after a short nap. Then he would be able to focus…and on alchemy, not that damn alchemist!

He didn't notice someone walk up behind him. Colonel Mustang looked down at his subordinate's sleeping face. His face was angelic in comparison to his normal, ticked-off expression. Roy reached down for Ed's coat which had been flung haphazardly o the floor and spread it over Ed. Ed mumbled something in auditable and shifted slightly.

Roy must have been getting ill too. His heart was beating a mile a minute.

-owari-

(THIS-DAMN-BAR-THINGY-WONT-WORK!!!!!)

Author's Notes:

SO HOW WAS THAT FOR A FIRST CHAPTER!?!??! This is actually my first fic ever although, it is not the first I've posted.  ALL reviews are welcome, even flamers.


	2. CROSSDRESSING?

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST!**

**Cross-dressing!?!**

Ed woke slowly, his eyes fluttered in a confused manner. "Huh?" Was all he could think as he recognized the library around him. He sat up with a stiff groan.

"Note to self," he muttered sleepily. "Don't sleep in this chair again." His coat slipped off of him into a pile on the floor once again.

"I see you finally decided to wake up." Ed froze. Colonel Mustang was sitting at a table a couple of feet, reading a book. Ed's heart immediately began to quicken.

"Well, that nap didn't help." Ed thought sullenly. Out loud he just offered some lame retort. He wasn't even really listening to himself. "Shouldn't you be working?"

"I finished and came to read." Mustang offered coolly. Actually, he had gone back to the office to finish. Hawkeye had actually been outwardly angry in coupling to her trigger happy mood. After that, he had an urge to come and read a book. Or, at least that's what he told himself anyway.

Ed nodded slowly, and Roy tried to get back to his book. It was hard to do as Ed undid his now messy braid and started to finger brush his hair, face still sleepy with half-lidded eyes. Ed's hair shimmered in the light from the fading sun coming through the windows. There was something very soothing and hypnotizing about the way Ed's flesh hand combed through his hair. All too soon, Ed finished combing his hair and tied it back in a neat, efficient braid and got up to gather his stuff. He looked up at the Colonel, who was still staring at him. Though his expression was as cool as always, it made Edward uncomfortable.

"What?" Ed demanded, stooping down to pick up his red to hide his discomfort. He noted with interest that the colonel jumped slightly when Ed spoke.

"Nothing," Mustang said, turning away and back to his book. "It's getting late, Fullmetal; you better get home."

"What, no insult before I go?" Roy pretended not to hear. He heard Ed sigh exasperatedly and stomp out the door. Roy waited until he could no longer hear Ed's uneven foot faults, then the dropped his book on the table in front of him and closed his eyes, trying to force himself to calm down.

Why was his heart beating so fast? Roy tried to pull a reign on his raying emotions. 'Damn,' he thought 'It's like I'm in love with Ed or something." He opened his eyes sharply. He was Roy Mustang, known for his flame and his womanizing talents. He was straighter than anyone, and he was being ridiculous. He stood to go, anticipating a drink and bed when he got home.

**(THIS-DAMN-BAR-THINGY-WONT-WORK!!!!!)**

Ed stomped his feet trying to keep them warm. Well, one of them warm. He hated the cold and tonight, was unnaturally so. The sun had set shortly after he left the library and he had decided to take the long way home to calm down. HE didn't even notice when a car pulled up beside him.

"Fullmetal, what a pleasant evening."

"Yeah, right! I guess if you like…" Ed clammed up as he noticed who he was speaking to. Fuhrer King Bradley sat in a military issue car. Ed just gaped. "Why don't you join me for an evening ride, Fullmetal? You look cold." The driver came around and opened the door. Ed thought it was wise not to go against this man's request, so he tentatively entered the vehicle. He was nervous, but not uncomfortable. Like he was with Mustang.

The two sat in silence while the driver went no where in particular. Finally it was the Fuhrer who broke the silence.

"Actually, Edward, I have a bit of a mission for you."

"Huh? Mustang didn't mention-"

"The colonel doesn't know."

Ed sat silently, waiting for the Fuhrer to explain. "This mission is highly top secret. We have received a rumor that a Mr. DeManch has been conducting some seriously forbidden experiments somewhere within his estate." The older man handed Edward a file, containing information on the man. "We don't have any proof to stop him, or got a warrant to search, so we need a spy in there to get proof…"

"Let me guess," Ed interrupted. "You want me to get the proof."

"Precisely."

"But why hide it from the Colonel?"

"Let me finish, Fullmetal. There will be a party at his estate this weekend and we managed to steal an invitation. The colonel was invited to this party as well, so we didn't want his day off to be ruined."

"Yeah, right," snorted Ed, forgetting completely who he was talking to. "But I still don't understand why he wouldn't need to know."

"Well, you see, Edward, a young boy at an adult party will be noticed," the Fuhrer explained .

'Young implies short,.' Ed thought, a muscle twitching above his eye, but he wasn't about to blow up at the Fuhrer. "I'm not seeing your point."

"You see, a small girl won't be-"

"GIRL!?!?! YOU MEAN CROSS-DRESSING?!??!!?"

"Well, yes, and that's why the colonel doesn't know. To save you from embarrassment and to save him from giving it away with his…teasing." The Fuhrer smiled down as Ed fumed. "Oh, and this mission is mandatory, so no backing out."

The car stopped. They were in front of the dorms. Ed shoved his way out of the car, not even noticing they dent he had put in it when he had kicked it open with this automatic foot.

"Oh, and, Fullmetal," the Fuhrer opened the window. Ed spun to face him, still red with anger. "I have informed Lieutenant Hawkeye of this, she will be getting you ready."

Ed turned without another word and ran full-tilt up to his dorm. Al didn't even ask when Ed started punching the walls and cursing up a storm.

-owari-

**(THIS-DAMN-BAR-THINGY-WONT-WORK!!!!!)**

As always, flamers and other reviewers welcome! 


	3. Party

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST!**

**Party**

Edward walked beside Riza Hawkeye as if going to a funeral.

"Something wrong, Mr. Elric?" She asked even though she knew hat it was. They were almost at her house where Ed would be getting ready for his night of cross dressing.

"Why the hell do I have to do this?" He whined, "why not you?"

Riza smiled kindly at him. "People know my face, and you will blend in more once you are dressed as a woman." Ed continued to grumble all the way to the house.

**(THIS-DAMN-BAR-THINGY-WONT-WORK!!!!!)**

Roy Mustang had been anticipating this evening party for a while. He was looking forward to a good time. He had even picked up a shapely blonde to escort.

He had even worn a suit. It was required, but sometimes he liked to arrive in uniform just to impress his dates, but he didn't feel like doing that tonight.

Now he was opening the door to his car for his date and offering his arm. She accepted with a too-wide smile and got out. He now regretted taking this girl. She chattered endlessly and never let go of him. He was already getting a headache and hoped someone would take her off his hands soon.

He swiftly and discreetly checked all the people around him, trying to spot someone as hot as his date but with their mouth firmly closed. They all were too old, too ugly, or too talkative (their mouths were endlessly moving). He only noticed one, small, familiar-looking blonde with her mouth closed, standing in the line to give her invitation to the guard at the entrance.

She was beautiful. She was skinny, but with a medium-sized chest. Her dress was black high-necked with full length sleeves. Her delicate looking hands were clad in white gloves. He couldn't see her feel but judging on her figure, she was wearing high heels. Her hair was a shimmery golden color pulled into a high ponytail with bangs hanging loosely around her face. Her make-up was thin and perfect looking. A blush stained her cheeks and her lips pouted moodily. She looked gorgeous and Mustang made a mental note to ask her to dance later on.

**(THIS-DAMN-BAR-THINGY-WONT-WORK!!!!!)**

Ed shifted his weight for the thousandth time. He was even more embarrassed after sighting Colonel Mustang. Roy had been looking around, apparently ignoring his date, until his eye had focused on Ed.

Ed froze, glad that Riza had made him put on a stuffed bra. There was no way the colonel would recognize him…was there? He turned abruptly as the line began to move and Ed flashed his invitation to the guard. The didn't like the way the man looked him up and down, a smirk playing around his lips.

"Have a good time, beautiful," he said, earning himself a glare from the other invitation-taker. Ed's face turned red and he rushed into the party, trying to look as demure and not angry as humanly possible when he was burning with rage.

The Fuhrer was right, a young boy would have attracted unwanted attention. Luckily, he was completely oblivious to the appreciative stares he was receiving from the men around him. He finally cracked a smile as he noticed the buffet table.

He immediately filled his plate. He paused and remembered he was supposed to be a girl, so he only took one piece of cake. He stood against a wall, eating cake and listening to the music. It was classical, but he wasn't picky since he didn't listen to music much. A waiter walked up to him and offered wine. Ed shook his head, not wanting to talk much to give away his disguise. The waiter walked away, looking disappointed.

Edward cursed under his breath as he saw the Colonel approaching. He had somehow ditched the jabbering blonde and was coming directly toward him. 'If I speak, he'll know it's me,' Edward thought. He was beginning to panic. He froze, willing his feet to move…needless to say they wouldn't. Mustang reached him moments later. Ed stared up at him.

Mustang smiled and extended a hand. "Excuse me miss, would you care to dance?" Ed continued to stare. Roy's smile was different from his usual face.

'He looks pretty good when he's not smirking…'Ed's blush increased and he mentally slapped himself before taking Roy's hand. He didn't know why, but he wasn't all that averse to dancing with him.

Roy led them onto the dance floor, pulling Ed close, but not close enough as to be ungentlemanly. Ed looked down, inwardly cursing as he felt a blush start on his face. Damn, why was he blushing? This was Colonel Roy Mustang: World's Most Ambitious Bastard! What the hell?! He should not be blushing! He should be furious! But he wasn't. He was actually enjoying the way Mustang's hand felt on his waist. Fine. He admitted it. Damn.

**(THIS-DAMN-BAR-THINGY-WONT-WORK!!!!!)**

Roy watched in fascination as the pretty girl looked down. He certainly didn't miss her trembling or blushing. How cute! He though. It was a struggle not to smirk at his triumph, but he pulled her just a little closer. The girl tugged back a little and Roy allowed her more room. Damn

The song ended and the blonde dropped her hands rather quickly and began to fuss with her skirt, bunching it in her hands in a _very_ familiar way. Roy couldn't quite place it. Almost like the way Ed balled his fists when angry. Embarrassed, Roy dismissed the thought. He was dealing with a woman, not a rampant boy. The girl still hadn't said anything and when the next song started, Roy took the girl's hands again, leading them into the dance.

The danced a few more songs before the girl tugged away, smiled a very strained smile and walked away quickly. Roy would have been disappointed if he hadn't see her blushing.

**(THIS-DAMN-BAR-THINGY-WONT-WORK!!!!!)**

Ed couldn't stand this a moment longer. He felt so nervous for no reason, and his heart was beating way too hard for comfort. Plus, the heat in his face told him he was blushing. Damn it! Mustang was a _guy!_ Ed couldn't feel anything but hatred! 'Yeah, who am I kidding?' he asked himself. "It's _obviously_ more than that."

He stopped short and tensed painfully. Maybe he liked Roy. That would explain why he always got the urge to stare at the man and why he got nervous whenever he wasn't mad at Roy for being so smug…This was ridiculous! He was supposed to be on a mission, not contemplating his preferences!

Ed looked around. 'Ok,' he thought. 'If I were doing dangerous and illegal experiments, where would I hide them?' He wandered the halls not really worrying where he was going. He really didn't know where to start.

Ed spotted a sign reading "Restricted". Restricted meant secrets, restricted meant nothing to the Fullmetal Alchemist! After a short glace in both directions, he clapped softly and placed his hands on the wood of the door. A small hole opened for him to peep through. He started the tape recorder hidden inside his sleeve when he heard voices.

"We have made a breakthrough in the transmutation, it's-"

"Don't call them that! They are illegal as you well know, so let's just call them…experiments."

"Very well, Mr. DeManch, but we…"

The voices were cut off as Ed was jabbed in the back of the neck and was lot to darkness. He hadn't even heard the bodyguard come behind him. But now that he had heard, he was stuck. The burly guard threw the unconscious Ed over his shoulder and went to lock "her" up.

-owari-


	4. Rewarded

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST!**

**Rewarded!**

Roy stood near a wall still at he party. He would have tactfully left ages ago, but he was still hoping the blonde beauty would reappear. He was, however, forced to give up due to the woman batting her eyes and trying to catch his attention in front of him.

"Roy?" she simpered. He mentally rolled his eyes and her folly and excused himself as politely as he could in this situation. He decided he would look for the girl and leave if he couldn't find her.

He wandered the halls looking nowhere in particular. A guard emerged from a room down the hall. He was busy locking the door when Roy came up to him.

"Hey, have you seen a gorgeous blonde around here?" he asked. He expected the guard to joke back or be annoyed. Instead, he shifted nervously and glanced at the door he had just locked.

"No," he said, unconvincingly, "No one is allowed access to this area, so you had better be gone by the time I come back."

Roy quirked an eyebrow, but nodded. The guard left immediately, waking a bit too fast. Roy rolled his eyes. 'Well, that sure wasn't suspicious.' He looked at the lock on the door before calmly snapping his gloved fingers and heard the sizzle of the lock. He pushed on the heavy door, which opened easily.

Inside it was pitch black and the only sound was a small moan and a string of curses. It came from farther within the chilly, dungeon-like room. He recognized the voice. It was Ed's! 'But what would he…' Roy's train of thought was cut into by a louder, more obscene line of curses.

"Edward?" he called out in to the darkness. The voice ended in a squeak as the curses halted.

"Colonel Mustang?" came the disbelieving voice in return.

"Where are you?"

"Don't come any closer!" Ed's voice was a squeak again. Roy paused in mid-stride. What was going on?! Why didn't Ed want him to come near? And why did his heartbeat quicken and his chest hurt so much?

"Fullmetal?"

"Erm…Where am I?"

In The DeManch's mansion, but what are you doing here in the first place?"

Ed paused before grunting "detective work". Roy raised an eyebrow. He would have recognized the small alchemist anywhere. He couldn't have slipped by Roy. Unless…

Then it hit him. "Wait a minute…were you…that girl that I, um…danced with?" He could feel a blush spread across his face.

The silence he received to the question was answer enough. So that's why the blonde had seemed so familiar! Roy walked toward where Ed's voice had come from, lighting a small blaze on his palm as he went.

The room he saw in the firelight truly was a dungeon, complete with Ed chained to the wall with his hands above his head in such a way he couldn't clap. He looked increasingly embarrassed when Roy studied him up and down.

"What?"

"You look very good in that dress, Ed." Ed just glared and blushed.

"Shut up! Now get me out of here, I got the info I came for!"

"Hmm…" Roy thought for a moment. "What will my reward be?" Roy wanted to play this to his advantage, and the look of outrage on Ed's face was adorable. Adorable? Never mind, it was.

"Fine! I'll reward you just…unchain me, please!" he added when Roy didn't move. Roy smirked and unchained the boy by melting the locks until they opened easily.

"Come along my dear." Ed glared. "I will escort you away to look less suspicious." He offered Ed his arm. The blonde looked at it and hesitantly took it, allowing Roy to walk him out of the room

The party was in full swing and no one noticed the pair leave. Roy hailed a taxi and handed Ed in before joining him.

They shortly arrived at their destination, Roy's house. Ed decided that the briefing could wait until tomorrow. He had recorded the incriminating conversation, so it was alright.

Roy unlocked the door and led Ed to the living room where he stared a fire in the fireplace to warm the freezing room. He stared into the dancing flames, admiring them, until Ed's voice brought him back.

"Do you want your reward now?" Roy glanced at him to find the blushing alchemist standing much closer than before and staring at his feet.

"Sure, what…"

Ed cut him off by pressing his lips gently against Roy's. Ed grabbed at his shirt and Roy responded instantly, an arm going around his waist and the other at the back of his head as Roy deepened the kiss, not quite done with his "reward".

Ed gasped when the colonel nipped his lower lip and Roy took that opportunity to slide his tongue into Ed's warm mouth, coaxing his tongue into a playful dance. Ed whimpered when Mustang pulled back.

He gazed into the chibi's half-lidded eyes. "Ed…I…" he started, but Ed stopped him with another kiss and an, "I know, me too." Roy smirked into the kiss and Ed pulled back, scowling.

Roy began to place small butterfly kisses around Ed's jaw line and down his neck before returning hungrily to his mouth. The game of dominance began and Roy won.

He moved down Ed's mouth back to his neck and licked and nipped at his neck, earning a moan from the blonde. Ed pushed him back when he snuck a hand under his shirt.

"Roy," he began. Roy looked back up at him. Ed was blushing furiously. "Are you sure you're not just….in the moment or something?"

Roy looked squarely into Ed's eyes. "I wouldn't do that…not to you." He planted a chaste kiss on Ed's lips before deepening it. Ed clung to him because that was all he could do while Roy kissed him senseless.

"I love you, chibi." It was a mark of how distracted he was by the kissing that he didn't even notice the "chibi" remark.

-OWARI-

**(THIS-DAMN-BAR-THINGY-WONT-WORK!!!!!)**

AUTHOR'S NOTES

Hey guys! So, yeah, this is actually the first fic that I ever wrote, so please begentle with your flaming, although even that kind of review is welcome!)

Steph: HURRA!!! I'm done typing this thing! Heather, I think we should consider negotiating the price; my computer went haywire over the holiday and ate the first copy of this, so I had to do all of this Sunday afternoon. (P.S.- to all my wondrous fans! (if I have any) I SUCK AT TYPING!!! So I secretly pay my friends to type the stories I write! snicker well! Yeah!)

Ed: I can't believe you put me in a dress!

Roy: But it looked so good on you.

Heather: nods in silent agreement

Ed: blushes

Roy: It'd look good off of you, too…

Ed: more blush!

Heather: HOLD IT!!! STOP THAT TRAIN OF THOUGHT!!! BAKA!!!

Steph: pulls out camcorder We can stick this on YouTube!


End file.
